So I have to share the experience I just had with a realtor. It will be nice when I have someone to share this stuff in person with again.
I had come home earlier in the day to unlock the house and put the dog away so that someone could come show my house because I wasn't going to be home. Turns out I made it home in time. We all converged on my house at the same time. I think I freaked them all out when I opened the garage door because they looked around like they had broken something. The young couple seemed really nice - I found out they are getting married soon. The realtor was...well, she was different. This is how our conversation went after we exchanged pleasantries:
Realtor: Why are you moving? (she claims she said 'where', I heard 'why')
Me: I'm getting divorced
Silence...
Realtor: I said 'where'.
Me: Oh, I don't know yet. Let me get the dog and you can go inside and look around...
I took the dog for a walk to give them some time. I came back about 20 minutes later and the realtor was sitting by herself on the front porch.
Realtor: You can sit up here with me.
What I thought: Did you just invite me to sit on my own front porch?
What I said: Oh, thank you.
Realtor (after I sat down): Fifteen years huh?
Me: What?
Realtor: You were married for 15 years. I saw the plaque on the wall. That's a long time but it's usually for the best.
What I thought: Where is this going?
What I said: Yup. 15 years - a long time.
Realtor: So what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm an engineer.
Realtor: Really? Where do you work?
Me: At K-C in North Ogden.
What she thought: A potential client.
What she said: So you looking for maybe a town house up that way?
What I thought: Why am I having this conversation? I should have taken a longer walk.
What I said: Nope, moving down toward Salt Lake.
What she said: Engineers make the worst clients.
What I thought first: I just told you I was an engineer, right?
What I thought next: This is turning into a blog post.
What I said: Really, why is that?
What she thought: Yup, this guy's an engineer.
What she said: You guys have a different way of seeing things. I always give up on the engineers because they're to hard to satisfy. They get caught up in the details too much. Your brains are different - not that that's bad because I don't get the stuff you have to work with so I guess it's good somebody does.
What I thought: It's what we get paid to do. You drove a car here that was designed by engineers - lots of details in a car. Tell me again why I'm having this conversation?
What I said: Well I did recently read a quote by a science fiction writer that said "engineers are all basically high functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff".
What she thought: Bingo
What she said: That's so funny because it's so true!
What I thought: Are your clients done in my house yet? I have to pee and I'd really like to eat dinner.
What I said: Yeah, I guess it kind of is.
Fortunately the young couple came out to rescue me. They were very nice kids (they all seem like kids to me now) and I hope they buy my house. I think they would be a good fit in the neighborhood.
Realtor: Thank you for letting us see your home
What she thought: Was that guy patronizing me?
What I thought: I'll bet you would have left my front door unlocked just like the last 5 realtors, even though I left the door open with the handle locked when you got here so all you would have to do is CLOSE it on your way out - details...
What I said: Good night.
Sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction...
Engineers have a perfect way of seeing things. I want to smack her. I really do. I'm just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't really offended, Nik. Its just one of the more bizarre conversations I've had in a while and wanted to share it. It's funny how our life experiences color how we see things. She probably had a bad experience with an engineer or two and now I've had a weird one with a realtor!
ReplyDeleteI knew you weren't offended, Kevin. That's just how sweet you are. But she certainly made ME ornery. I love you so much.
ReplyDelete