My story part two - School

The first years of our marriage were pretty normal - two young people trying to get used to living with someone of the opposite sex and learning to mutually tolerate each others' quirks and personality flaws - come on we all have them.  We were both working, I for my dad in his foundry and April for Beehive Clothing as a seamstress.  We were pretty happy (I thought).  One thing I have learned is that what I witnessed isn't always what she did and I didn't find out about it until much later.
Our first big decision as a married couple came when my dad and his partner took advantage of a state initiative that gave incentives to small businesses to relocate to rural areas to stimulate job growth.  They chose to relocate to Nephi and we had to decide whether or not we would go with them.  I still wanted to get back into school but didn't want to lose my income so we decided to move thinking that I could still go to school in Provo and work at the same time - it didn't quite work out that way and I started to worry I would never make it back to school to finish  my degree in an as yet determined field of study.  We bought a small house and settled in to the reality of living in a small Utah town where you are a stranger for 15 minutes but an outsider for 20 years.  Our only friends were other 'outsiders' or first generation 'Nephites' as we were sometimes referred to.
Shortly before we moved we found out we were going to be parents.  We were excited and scared to death at the same time.  April was working at the time for Merry Maids but had to quit because being pregnant was very hard on her and she was constantly sick.  I can still remember frequently going into the bathroom with her so I could hold her hair and keep it out of harms way as she deposited every last bit of dinner into the toilet.  Needless to say she would have to quit her job and stay home and rest.
On April 21, 1998 the most incredible thing happened to me - I became a father.  Haley was born about 3 weeks early and weighed just over 5 lbs.  She was tiny and she was also the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  I will have to dedicate an entire post to her and how much it has meant to me to be her father - she is an amazing kid.

This is the only photo I have from the hospital.  Foundry work is very hot (that 's why I buzzed my hair so short) and  hard work.  I probably only weighed a buck sixty soaking wet.

She was tiny but she could sure scream.  She had Colic and for a couple of months she would scream bloody murder from about 5 p.m. to 11 p.m every night  - no joke.  It was rough but we made it.

Well things started to go poorly in Nephi.  My dad's partner, who was like a second father to me, forced him out and royally screwed him.  With my dad gone I wanted no part of the business or living in Nephi so we put our house up for sale and sold it in less than a week (a tender mercy of the Lord, for sure).
I had been agonizing over what to study in school - the great question of 'what do I want to be when I grow up?'
When April's mom (who had been widowed a couple of years before) found out we wanted to move back to Salt Lake she immediately offered to let us live with her so I could go back to school.  It was a great blessing because it allowed me to go to school while letting April stay home and be a full time mom.  It was also one of the most stressful things I have ever done and I don't recommend it if you can avoid it.
I needed to find work that would be compatible with school and provide benefits.  A childhood friend of mine, Brandon Walsh, who was a Mechanical Engineer found out I was moving back to Salt Lake and mentioned that his firm sometimes designed castings (which I had been making in the foundry for the last 4 years) and that they were looking for someone to fill an entry level 3D CAD design position.  All I needed to do was learn the CAD software which he could provide for me to learn.  I was excited about this prospect.  I have always been fascinated by how things work and would think about the parts I made in the foundry and why the engineers designed things the way they did.  Sometimes it was obvious and sometimes it wasn't.  We made all sorts of things:  gear boxes for yogurt machines, antenna masts for M1 tanks, 2500 lb. fly wheels for hay baling machines and stainless steel impellers for pumps.  It was hot dusty work and sometimes it was dangerous (I have the burn scars to prove it) but I really did get satisfaction out of making things with my hands.

Well to make a long story short, I learned the software and got an interview at Walsh's firm.  It did not go well at all.  They guy I was supposed to interview with was not there so I had to talk to someone else, I still remember his name (it was Reid), and he was really condescending and kind of a jerk!  He asked me all sorts of technical questions to which I had no answers and was not aware that I needed to know them.  He looked at me like I was a complete idiot and said he didn't think I had the qualifications to work in that field.  I left there feeling about 3 inches tall and was pretty dejected.  The good part was that I knew what I wanted to study.  I was going to be an engineer if it killed me.  Math was the only class I ever failed in high school (mostly because it was 1 month before I had open-heart surgery) so I was a little apprehensive about that part of it but I was going to do it.   

I was 27 when I went back to school and didn't finish until I was 31.  It was a very stressful period of our married life.  I went to school early in the morning - so early that in my morning stupor I once put a pair of April's pants on and wore them the whole day without noticing.  Dont' ask me how.  I was pretty skinny at the time (see the above photo) but I wasn't any shorter than I am now.  What a dork!  We had a good laugh about that and would laugh about it for years after.  I'll bet I could get her to laugh at that even now... 

I would get home at about 2:30 from school and would have to leave for work at about 5:30 so family time during the week was very limited.  I worked at UPS - first as a trailer loader, then as a sorter, then as a part time supervisor.  I hated that job with a passion, mostly because of how they treated their employees and for having to deal with a labor union but it was a good job and served its purpose.  One of the happiest days of my life was when I walked out of that warehouse for the last time.  I have had two recurring nightmares since I finished school:  1 - that for some reason I had to go back to work at UPS and 2- that I had to go back to school to take a class I somehow missed.  Both would wake me up with a sense of panic and dread.  Those are two things I never want to have to do again!

One of my all time favorite photos of Haley.  She waited so patiently for me to assemble that tricycle but it was beginning to test her.  She insisted on the tassels which did not want to cooperate.

Another favorite photo from that time period.  No matter what kind of day I had, that little girl could make it all better by just smiling at me.  I am so sad for her that she has had to go through all of this.  I hope that one day she can forgive her parents for it.

After I finished school I got a job and we moved to South Weber where we have lived for seven years.  We had had some tough times up to this point (April had thrown the 'D' word out once in one of our more intense conversations) but things had never looked better for us.  It seemed to me like we had finally made it, that life could finally be enjoyable.  Still no signs that things could end up the way they have.  The funny thing about life is that it can really surprise you....